childhood, Uncategorized

I hoard toilet paper

There I said it. I collect toilet paper. And not that scratchy cheap no name stuff. Definitely not the Green planet friendly tp. That stuff is worse than the tp at the govt funded buildings. I mean Charmine, Cottonelle,  Royale, and other baby soft brands. If they are on sale it comes home with me. Stuffed under handbags, in the back of the closet, in the kids’ washroom.  I buy the kids’ Store brands or other sale but still quality brands because it’s cheaper and they have no sense of the word waste as teenagers.

I know why I buy it. I understand buying on sale is a good idea. That being thrifty is the way to become a millionaire. That is not why I do it. I have this fear hidden deep in the darkness of my consciousness. I am afraid of using paper thin, sandpaper rough, one ply tissue. The kind you would be able to steal from the local library. Sounds ridiculous right. Wrong. I was so broke – a whole different blog story there for another time… I was so broke I would sneak into the public library and stuff a half used roll into my backpack.

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I can still see clear as day me sitting on the toilet. My black canvas satchel with its cold metal buckles on my lap. Trying to get that giant commercial size roll out of the case without making noise or breaking it. The metallic taste of fear on my tongue. The desperate need for tissue at home.

So now I have toilet paper. Good toilet paper. So soft it’s a kittens fur wiping your bottom. According to commercials. Or maybe so soft bears love it. Hoards of it in my closet, in the bathroom, in the kids bathroom. And I bought more today because it was almost half price. I am sure it will be double when I need it. So I buy more. I buy it for the sale not because I can’t help myself. I tell myself I’ll be good and buy only one giant bulk bag, not the maximum limit. That would be silly right! 🙂 Then I stress all the way home if I should have bought more while it was on sale. Or if I spent too much buying things like toilet paper on sale when I didn’t need it yet. Either way, I end up with a stomach ache.

So there it is. Why I hoard toilet paper. And probably food on occasion. Definitely speaks to my dislike of wasting anything. Throwing away anything when it can be donated. For I will never forget having to steal toilet paper.

10 thoughts on “I hoard toilet paper”

  1. My first memory of rooming with you was your Mom giving me a tour and instructions. Toilet Paper was never to be used when discarding feminine products. There was a stack of fliers under the sink for that. You were taught young…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. at least you’re not saving like dead crickets or something! thanks for following my blog. keep up the writing. very personal and confessional, which is compelling. sometimes i do it too, which is easy in some ways, hard in others. maybe i’ll regret it later. anyway, thanks and good work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. funny perspective I hadn’t thought of. that would be quite disturbing collecting dead things! thank you for the compliment and follow. I am quite enjoying your blog and look forward to reading more posts. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. i don’t know why i thought of it except a character in the show Shameless died and was a hoarder then her dog started eating her leg. anyway, i wrote a blog every day this year so far so you have 48 to choose from plus 31 before that. thanks again!

        Liked by 1 person

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