I haven’t posted on here for a few reasons. It is just how life has been the last year. I have however made fantastic progress on writing my book. Which essentially was the entire purpose of starting this blog. I finished the rough draft a few months ago and began the tedious process of editing it.
I cut and slashed my way through numerous chapters condensing them, removing repetitious words, gaining strength of voice. Then I hit the cliff, the subsequent fall into the cataclysmic day that changed me forever. Literally, the story where the cliff giving away changed everything. I can stand at the edge of that reality as though carefully looking over the edge of a huge precipice. I can’t, however, bring myself to jump into that black hole that became my life.
The months and years that followed with one thing after another knocking me down. Throwing me about as though I was a boat amid an ocean storm. I fear to embrace the pain, loss, loneliness, grief, anger, and sadness enough to write the depth required to bring a reader there with me.
So I have sat at the table for weeks stuttering about within the chapter that changed my family unable to find my footing. I will for I must but this seemed easier to write and share than facing what I spent years with Mary-Jane forgetting.